FRESHMAN: Ready to party, have sex, blackout not back out, get in good with the men, skanks, innocent, naive, possibly under 18 so watch out, will over pay upperclassmen for a booze aka packy run, Puke and rally type of girls
CLASSIFIED: Easy Target
FRESHMAN SHUT INS: They’ll be in the library, doing homework, possible two shots and they’re blackout, “party” in the dorms only
CLASSIFIED: Men, these ladies would be a cheap date and future wife material
SOPHOMORES: Still ready to party, but with more experience possibly higher tolerance, knows what houses are best, but ready to throw down as easily as they still throw up -still wanting just random hook ups and looking at the new freshman men for new meat.
CLASSIFIED: New Men Required - Same Bullshit Accepted AKA Easy Target
JUNIOR YOUNGINS: Not old enough to go up town, sick of the frat scene but still semi hopeful that the next fraternity man will be the man of her dreams (even after getting burnt so many times). Knows how to get into parties for free, knows drinking limit and isn’t against actually staying in on a Friday night to “get away from the drama” - Feels like they must set example for Freshman girls and marks territory when it comes to houses, parties, and men.
CLASSIFIED: Semi-Hard to Get: Men need to step up their game at this point
JUNIOR LEGALS: 21 and ready to rally! These ladies are up for anything at this point as long as it has to do with being uptown at the bars. They’ll buy you drinks - boys or girls if drunk enough. Ready to dance, drink the night away with “new men” - they think meeting a GDI (pronounced geed), aka God Damn Independent or a person not in the Greek System, will be the answer to their man problems. But now also - for some reason - still open to Fraternity men even more now that they’re in another setting besides their puke stained houses.
CLASSIFIED: Easy Target - Just buy the lady a drink and have a legit conversation
SENIORS FALL: Senior girls are the hardest to get, especially in the fall semester. At this point they start to frenzy if not in a relationship. They believe that graduating without one will lead to a lonely life with 17 cats and subscription to Prevention magazine. These girls aren’t looking forward to a one night stand, will make you hold out for sex for the first few dates because they want to look “classy”. They want to find the fairy-tale and knight in shining armour. Will help pay on dates, though it’s best if you offer, even if it’s just the first pitcher - she’ll want to look mature and buy it. Will dress sexy but older, no jean skirts and white see-through tanks, but tight black pencil skirts and a top the shows the right amount of alluring cleavage.
CLASSIFIED: Hard to Get - Worth it in the end! Experienced now in the drinking scene and most likely in bed - take this girl home to mom and she won’t dissapoint, after all it’s what she’s waiting for.
SENIORS SPRING: There are THREE types of Senior Spring girls, those that have found their man and will hold on with dear life, those that are now even more desperately searching, and those that are feeling nostalgic. Nostalgic senior girls are the most fun. They figure “hey, graduation soon, I’m going to miss college so much I might as well live it up while I’m here”. These girls will be the ones to go back to the Frat parties a few more times. They will take a freshman girl - or few - under their wing and show them the ropes, they will take a freshman boy - or few - and live up the glory days in bed, making boys into men. They’ll do the keg stand, will not buy the round of shots but will flash someone for it, is ready and waiting for the one night stand to happen so that it’s a night well spent.
CLASSIFIED: 1st type - no chance. 2nd type - see seniors spring. 3rd type - GET READY TO PARTY, aka EASY TARGET ( thus creating a full circle back to freshman year)